2 posts tagged “samurai”

I am actually still alive.

- I went on a roadtrip to northern Ontario for work. Really different. Most teachers there hate their lives, soooo.... not doing that, careerwise.
- I kind of hate work these days (compare entries from when I was just starting). Maybe it's just because of training, which is dull.
- I went to a street festival today, and it was really good. Bloor from Christie to Lansdowne (far!).
- I really like Milkis these days. Seems totally weird but it's actually amazing! The only soft drink I like.
- I met a boy called Professor on Sunday. I really like him, but he "does not feel as strongly" towards me, though he was "open to the idea". On reflection, I'm not sure whether by "the idea" he meant a relationship or sex, but I'm kind of hoping more for the former. Uh so that kind of sucks. However, I see this as somewhat positive. When that whole business with Samurai happened, I thought to myself (silly), "Oh I like him so much, what if I always have him in the back of my mind.... I won't ever find anyone that seems as compatible as he does." Blah blah blah. But Professor is just as suitable, and I already like him more than I ever liked Samurai. Well maybe. Not quite as much, but it's more positive. I was too fixated on Samurai. Though I am very wary of how I'm getting into that relationship "mood tide": I'm happier than my average happy when I have a good time with Prof, but am more mopey than average when... well when he says things like "I don't feel as strongly towards you as you do towards me." Not that that surprised me, because I seem to always (and I mean in friendships and my love life) like/appreciate/love people at least slightly more than they do me. But I know I'm just emotionally intense.
- I seriously like this Milkis stuff. You should try it! If you didn't click on the wiki-link, it's a Korean soft-drink, so look for it where you'd find that. Difficult perhaps for those that don't live like 5 minutes from the "Korean Business Area".
- I intended for this post to be short. I did not intend to discuss Professor, so there you go.

Okay so there's a lot that's happened.

I moved res buildings. This one is... much better than my old one haha. Not that I won't be happy to be back there in September. Especially after living in the suburbs for July and August. Um so yeah this building is so confusing, but I love to explore, so it's fun.

Work is a-mazing. I love working with kids, seriously. And every time it's gone so well. The kids are good, the workshop works out well, and I get good reviews from the teachers. I worked in my mom's school today, actually. She wasn't there, but the Grade 8 teacher booked me. I was really dreading this particular workshop because a) he was clearly going to report right back to my mom, and b) it's like the most boring, confusing workshop. But it worked out fine! Great even! DESPITE the fact that my materials crate was missing a crucial component. I just made up a replacement part and it went off without a hitch. It was amazing, and even though I'm pretty much burned out from low sleep and early mornings (at work at 6:45 today!), I am just so happy.

Yesterday, I seriously couldn't stop thinking "I think my life is perfect. My life is perfect." And I can feel that even though I know there are things I want but don't have. It doesn't make me too much less happy. I've realized that it isn't not having something that makes one sad, but rather the thought that not having that thing ought to make one sad. When I did that project in Grade 12 on happiness, the one main message was that it's all how you look at things - you make your own meaning and happiness. So like... yeah an outsider wouldn't say my life is perfect, but from the inside it is (I assure you).

Speaking of things I want but can't have, I helped my friend Samurai apply for an instructor position with my camp later in the summer. He wouldn't be working in the same place as me though, which is good because well, straight up, I'm kind of in love with him. Not actually love, mind you, but I don't want to say "like", because it's way too high school. Now if only he'd break up with his boyfriend. Which, objectively, I don't really want, because I think they're much better for each other than he and I would be. So. I'm pretty sure a lot of my annoyingly persistent interest in him is based in the fact that I barely even know any guys, so. Uh not many options. And as I said, I'm pretty content anyway, so I'm not really going to go looking.

Speaking of high school (yeah it's back there), I saw American Teen last night. For free. I'm pretty sure that in some location in the city, at any given time, there is something cool and free to do. And eat. For sure. Um but yeah the movie was really good. Though.. the director was there, and she said that she tried to avoid the sort of typical stereotypes... which she didn't do at all. But yeah it was still really good.